back

18/03/24 - social media, gaming, burnout

Lately, I’ve just been doing nothing productive at all. Just straight up nothing. All I’ve been doing is sitting here, in my small little room, trying to play some fun video games since I’m bored, and then quitting the games 10 minutes after opening them up, resulting me in using social media again, consuming content filled with nothing, feeling more and more depressed as hours and hours and hours pass by. It suuuckssss.

I think I need to change something about my setup or life style or something that just makes it harder for me to hop into these social media loops. Like, maybe I should genuinely put hard lines as what things I can do on what hardware, like Mac’s only for my hobbies (website, music, japanese learning), PC’s only for video games, phone is only for communication and pictures and just try and live with that as a fundamental line and life style and cut myself off of all this social media garbage. Spending all those hours just scrolling for brain dead videos just is.. braindead!

As for the video games lately, I don't know what's going on with me really. I don't know if it's just because I find things boring too easily because of the social medias or if I'm just straight up burned out. I'd like to think it's the problem of always wanting/needing to have a video playing in the background and just not playing it for fun, but a part of me is quite scared it's just straight up burnout and that might just be the case.

But then I also think back on the past month and there has been great times playing games, mostly with family and friends, which leads me to think it's more of that social media issue. I really don't know, it's hard to pinpoint.

I've also thought I might be because I'm pushing myself too hard with my Japanese and forcing myself to play in Japanese, but I've tried multiple times to change the language back, even switching between them, and both just kinda leaves me feeling the same tbh.

I don't know how to fix this empty void in me. I'm directionless. But I think I have to do something. And hopefully I can learn something from that something.